right now i like...

illustrations by this girl.

and style and design by this girl. 

(also, the fact that you can wear scarves and sweaters year long in Seattle)

I guess it would be ridiculous not to mention

 that i'm also quite in love with this girl. 

A few nights ago I actually read 

her entire blog, back two or three years.

Just one more way I avoid all the moving and packing I need to be doing...

natural state

Hunter/Gatherer

via

pretty as a porch

To My New Backyard (A Love Letter) from Jaime Morrison Curtis on Vimeo.

wasteland of the free

My last post was completely self absorbed, and I apologize for that. When it comes to personal matters, I have absolutely nothing to complain about.

I think part of what was adding to my mess of a mood was this cycle of self pity and then feeling like shit for feeling sorry for myself when I have so so SO much to be thankful for. I honestly have NOTHING to complain about. Absolutely nothing. So i'm trying to keep that in mind 24/7 and stop acting like a brat.

I should not be knocking the good ol' u.s of a on the day after it's glorious birth, but I've been listening to a lot of folk music lately and it gets me a little hot headed sometimes. While even a poor s.o.b like me lives a pretty high life on a regular basis (i.e - lots of love, full belly, more material possessions than i could ever need) there is still certainly a war going on in this country - - and right now the capitalist pigs are winning. Yep, I said it. This guy said it, too.

Anyhow, the title of my post comes from this Iris Dement song. I think she sums it all up.


Living in the wasteland of the free...


We got preachers dealing in politics and diamond mines


and their speech is growing increasingly unkind


They say they are Christ's disciples


but they don't look like Jesus to me


and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free


We got politicians running races on corporate cash


Now don't tell me they don't turn around and kiss them peoples' ass


You may call me old-fashioned


but that don't fit my picture of a true democracy


and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free


We got CEO's making two hundred times the workers' pay


but they'll fight like hell against raising the minimum wage


and If you don't like it, mister, they'll ship your job


to some third-world country 'cross the sea


and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free


Living in the wasteland of the free


where the poor have now become the enemy


Let's blame our troubles on the weak ones


Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy


Living in the wasteland of the free


We got little kids with guns fighting inner city wars


So what do we do, we put these little kids behind prison doors


and we call ourselves the advanced civilization


that sounds like crap to me


and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free


We got high-school kids running 'round in Calvin Klein and Guess


who cannot pass a sixth-grade written test


but if you ask them, they can tell you


the name of every crotch on MTV


and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free


We kill for oil, then we throw a party when we win


Some guy refuses to fight, and we call THAT the sin


but he's standing up for what he believes in


and that seems pretty damned American to me


and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free


Living in the wasteland of the free


where the poor have now become the enemy


Let's blame our troubles on the weak ones


Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy


Living in the wasteland of the free


While we sit gloating in our greatness


justice is sinking to the bottom of the sea


Living in the wasteland of the free


I listened to that song at least ten times yesterday. Then I decided to set aside these grievances for a while and do as the real common man does - - enjoy the simple life. I went to a little dinner party for my bfs boyfriend's birthday. We all ate too much and then shot off fireworks! It had been way long since i'd done that and it was super fun. Gotta love America for that, a holiday that let's us catch a buzz, overeat and explode things.

Anyhow, I promise the rest of my posts will be much more vapid and not contain any real opinion from me, because my opinion is mostly downtrodden and a little pissed off. It's a weird parallel of having nothing to complain about but also knowing a lot of things just aint right.

The dire need to pack and prepare myself to move 

has turned me into a complete crazy, 

so Phil and I took off to the lake to chill and get away 

from the mess that is my house 

and my overwhelming load of possessions, 

all of which need to be donated, 

sold, and maybe the special things stored away. 

It's come to this- - this being that we can't afford 

and will probably be better off 

taking only what we can fit in our little cars. 

Clothes, books, dishes, and some keepsakes 

are all I guess I can bring along...

I'm sure in the long run it will be best to start fresh, 

but right now it's all freaking me out 

and making me depressed. 

I obviously do not handle change well. 

I hope this turns out to be a good learning experience, 

one that makes me realize 

that all of this negative energy i'm spewing out

 is only crippling me - now and forever. 

I've got to shake this funk real soon 

before it gets the best of me.